The beginning of a romantic relationship can be a source of inspiration or a complete nightmare for a couple. How we approach a new relationship can have profound effects on the longevity of that relationship.
If we are honest and forthcoming with ourselves, the relationship has a greater change for long-term success. If we approach relationships as putting on the show we think the other party wants to see, then eventually that façade will crack, to the detriment of both parties involved. Should a relationship wish to survive in the long run, it is vital for it to have a positive, healthy beginning.
We all try to put our best foot forward when we encounter a new romantic interest, but if that stellar first impression comes at the expense of honesty and sincerity, it can spell disaster for the relationship later on.
All relationships have a “honeymoon” period where one idealized the person of their affection, causing one to see them with rose-tinted glasses that may not reflect the entirety of the person in question.
Nevertheless, the honeymoon period serves a greater purpose. A solid foundation of happy memories can be called upon when the relationship starts to encounter obstacles. Both parties are reminded of what they once shared and are provided motivation to put in the work necessary to reach that relationship ideal once more.
If the relationship does not have that happy, honest beginning, the motivation to save the relationship deceases significantly. For a relationship to be healthy, it must be completely devoid of dishonesty. For example, if a romantic relationship was born out of infidelity or if one misrepresented themselves substantially to keep the other party interested, then the relationship has already begun with lies.
When that dishonesty emerges, it could very well cause the deceived partner to end the relationship. If the betrayed person does not immediately leave because they feel too emotionally invested at the point of discovery, a resentment will still inevitably grow.
The deceived party will feel cheated that what they presumed to be true is, in fact, not. It is one thing to see someone’s flaws as they start to phase out of the honeymoon period, as no one is perfect, but it is quite another if very little to nothing about the honeymoon phase was true.
Relationships are built on trust. Therefore, if a relationship was built up on a series of lies, the whole relationship itself then lacks legitimacy. When there is no legitimacy to the relationship, there is little one can do to try to change that deceitful dynamic, especially if the deceitful person is unwilling to admit any fault. Then one has a situation where the deceived is resentful of being lied to in the first place and the deceiver is resentful that they are being held accountable for their actions.
Having an honest approach to relationships can save everyone a lot of heartache in the grand scheme of things. No one would feel betrayed and no one would feel resentful that they have to maintain a farce to keep the relationship going. If one resorts to gross misrepresentation to keep the object of their desire around, then that person is placing a disproportionate amount of their self-worth on their ability to attract romantic/sexual partners.